Tuesday, October 18, 2016
I have a question for you.
Caller: "I have a question for you. There is a $6 fee on ticketmaster. Then they charge another $4 fee."
Me: ...
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Cream tickets dammit!
The phone conversation I just had...
Me: UPAC box office.
Caller: Hi is this the UPAC?
M: Yes, how can I help you?
C: Do you have any tickets for that there show?
M:Which show sir?
C:The band that's playing. How much are tickets?
M: Which band sir?
C: Cream.
M: I'm sorry, but CREAM is not playing, but CREED is.
C: NO, I want to see Cream, how much are the damn tickets?
M: I'm very sorry sir, but Cream is not playing here. We have other great concerts coming up like Wille Nelson.
Long pause....
C: WHAT DONT YOU GET? HOW MUCH ARE THE CREAM TICKETS!?
M: I'm sorry sir but Cream is not playing at this venue. (or even in this decade..said in my brain)
Long pause #2
C:Is this the UPAC?
M: Yes, sir.
C:Ehhhh, fuck it!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Yes?
Can I buy tickets for Glenn Miller?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Miller
Alton Glenn Miller (March 1, 1904 – missing in action[1] December 15, 1944) was an American jazz musician (trombone), arranger, composer, and bandleader in the swing era.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Miller
Alton Glenn Miller (March 1, 1904 – missing in action[1] December 15, 1944) was an American jazz musician (trombone), arranger, composer, and bandleader in the swing era.
Back in 5
Box office staff puts the "back in 5 minutes" sign up at her window to refill her water bottle. In walks in "Maria".
"Maria": HELLO?!? HELLO?!?!?!
Box Office: Hello?
"Maria": HELLO!?!?!!? IS THIS WHERE YOU GET TICKETS? HELLO!?!?
Box Office: Yes, you can purchase tickets here.
"Maria": Okay good. I need two.
"Maria": HELLO?!? HELLO?!?!?!
Box Office: Hello?
"Maria": HELLO!?!?!!? IS THIS WHERE YOU GET TICKETS? HELLO!?!?
Box Office: Yes, you can purchase tickets here.
"Maria": Okay good. I need two.
$20, $33, $39...
Caller: What are the prices for your Thursday show?
Box Office: $20, $33, $39...
Caller: Okay. Now what if I want to sit in the middle.
*silence*
Box Office: Alright, the middle price option or the middle of the theater?
Caller: What?
Box Office: $20, $33, $39...
Caller: Okay. Now what if I want to sit in the middle.
*silence*
Box Office: Alright, the middle price option or the middle of the theater?
Caller: What?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
How do I go to your show?
Woman: So hi! Can you tell me about how I get tickets? Then when I get tickets do I go to NYC for the show or do I go here?
Friday, June 10, 2011
An eldery woman buys ballet tickets...
An elderly woman walks in and asks for tickets to the ballet performance for the next day. She is baffled that the prime seating is no longer available. Flustered she finally chooses an excellent pair fourth row of the loge. When purchasing her tickets I ask for her information...
Box Office: "May I have your last name?"
Elderly Woman: "Smith"
Box Office: "And your first?"
Elderly Woman: "It's under Edward."
Of course the woman is paying with a check and needs to provide her id. So MaryJane I just want you to know that your real name is much prettier than "ITSUNDEREDWARD".
Box Office: "May I have your last name?"
Elderly Woman: "Smith"
Box Office: "And your first?"
Elderly Woman: "It's under Edward."
Of course the woman is paying with a check and needs to provide her id. So MaryJane I just want you to know that your real name is much prettier than "ITSUNDEREDWARD".
Saturday, June 4, 2011
$100 Dollars worth of tickets...
Customer: Hi. I'd like $100 worth of tickets.
Box Office: Oook. For what performance?
Customer: Yeah. For the June 11th show.
[side note: There are 3 shows on June 11th. Two at this location and one at our other theater]
Box office: Ok sure. Which of the performances on the 11th? For here or [at our other building]?
Customer: Here? Yes... Here.
Box office: Ok. So there are two shows here that day, one at 2 o'clock and one at 6 o'clock. Did you want tickets for one of them or both? And how many tickets did you need?
Customer: There are two different shows? I can't buy tickets and get into the shows? You need different tickets for each show? I want $100 dollars worth of tickets for both.
Box office: Ooook. Yes, there are separate tickets sold for each performance. So you want 100 worth of tickets for each of the shows??? Or between the shows??? And approximately HOW MANY TICKETS did you need?
Customer: I dont know. I just need only 100 dollars worth of tickets.
Box office: Ok. Soooo would you like 4 tickets for the matinee and 4 the evening show?
[side note: Tickets are 15 dollars each. We are assuming she wants to spend $50 for the 2pm and $50 for the evening since she wont tell us the number of tickets she needs for the shows]
Customer: No. No, no, no, no. I didnt think this would be so hard!! Just give me two tickets for the 2pm and the rest in the evening!
[The Box office offers her two seats and after going back and forth a bit she picks two seats. This leaves $70 dollars left to spend for the evening--about 4 or 5 tickets depending ]
Box Office: Ok so for the evening. Did you want 4 or 5 tickets for the evening?
Customer: Wait, how much are the tickets for this show?
Box office: The tickets are 15 dollars each.
Customer: Ok. Tell me where 4 seats are.
[The box office tells her locations for 4 seats and she agrees to it]
Box office: Ok so your total--
Customer: [cutting off the box office speaking] How many tickets are left in that row?
Box office: Well there are 7 seats left in that row.
Customer: Give me the rest of the row. No, wait. Just give me 5 more tickets in that row. I want her to sit with her friends too.
Box Office: Okay. Sure. [we sell her the tickets and she storms out of the building]
*Side note: She ended up paying for "165 dollars worth of tickets"*
Box Office: Oook. For what performance?
Customer: Yeah. For the June 11th show.
[side note: There are 3 shows on June 11th. Two at this location and one at our other theater]
Box office: Ok sure. Which of the performances on the 11th? For here or [at our other building]?
Customer: Here? Yes... Here.
Box office: Ok. So there are two shows here that day, one at 2 o'clock and one at 6 o'clock. Did you want tickets for one of them or both? And how many tickets did you need?
Customer: There are two different shows? I can't buy tickets and get into the shows? You need different tickets for each show? I want $100 dollars worth of tickets for both.
Box office: Ooook. Yes, there are separate tickets sold for each performance. So you want 100 worth of tickets for each of the shows??? Or between the shows??? And approximately HOW MANY TICKETS did you need?
Customer: I dont know. I just need only 100 dollars worth of tickets.
Box office: Ok. Soooo would you like 4 tickets for the matinee and 4 the evening show?
[side note: Tickets are 15 dollars each. We are assuming she wants to spend $50 for the 2pm and $50 for the evening since she wont tell us the number of tickets she needs for the shows]
Customer: No. No, no, no, no. I didnt think this would be so hard!! Just give me two tickets for the 2pm and the rest in the evening!
[The Box office offers her two seats and after going back and forth a bit she picks two seats. This leaves $70 dollars left to spend for the evening--about 4 or 5 tickets depending ]
Box Office: Ok so for the evening. Did you want 4 or 5 tickets for the evening?
Customer: Wait, how much are the tickets for this show?
Box office: The tickets are 15 dollars each.
Customer: Ok. Tell me where 4 seats are.
[The box office tells her locations for 4 seats and she agrees to it]
Box office: Ok so your total--
Customer: [cutting off the box office speaking] How many tickets are left in that row?
Box office: Well there are 7 seats left in that row.
Customer: Give me the rest of the row. No, wait. Just give me 5 more tickets in that row. I want her to sit with her friends too.
Box Office: Okay. Sure. [we sell her the tickets and she storms out of the building]
*Side note: She ended up paying for "165 dollars worth of tickets"*
Cute Patron...
Customer: I have two tickets for today and tomorrow. One is an adult and the other is a senior - for my husband. He doesn't want to come tomorrow... can my niece use his ticket?
Box Office: Absolutely no problems.
[side note... students & seniors are priced the same]
Cusomter: And how long is the spectacle?
Box Office: Two hours.
Box Office: Absolutely no problems.
[side note... students & seniors are priced the same]
Cusomter: And how long is the spectacle?
Box Office: Two hours.
Do you have tickets under...
them - I am picking up tickets under the name Davis.
Me - I don't have tickets under that name.
Them - try Schwartz.
Me - No not under that name either.
Them - Yes.
Me - Noooo...I don't have them under that name either.
Them - YES YES YOU DO.
Me - No no I don't I'm sorry.
Them - FINE (and storms off)
THEN - comes back an hour later and drops off tickets for someone else to pick up under the name Schwartz.
Me - I don't have tickets under that name.
Them - try Schwartz.
Me - No not under that name either.
Them - Yes.
Me - Noooo...I don't have them under that name either.
Them - YES YES YOU DO.
Me - No no I don't I'm sorry.
Them - FINE (and storms off)
THEN - comes back an hour later and drops off tickets for someone else to pick up under the name Schwartz.
Oh Hi! I didn't know you were open!
"Oh Hi! I didn't know you were open!"
(Yes, of course we are open if you are able to walk in the front door, all the lights are on and we say "Hello, how can I help you?")
"I need to buy some tickets... but I have no idea how many I need. Let me make a phone call."
(Yes, of course we are open if you are able to walk in the front door, all the lights are on and we say "Hello, how can I help you?")
"I need to buy some tickets... but I have no idea how many I need. Let me make a phone call."
Friday, June 3, 2011
I don't know Marissa.
Woman walking into the box office asks, "Have you seen Marissa?"
I blankly stare at her and respond "I don't know?"
She eyes me and says, "You sure you haven't seen her? Okay. Fine."
I blankly stare at her and respond "I don't know?"
She eyes me and says, "You sure you haven't seen her? Okay. Fine."
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Actors... bah!
"So my son is in the performance. If I want him to sit with me in the audience, do I need to buy him a ticket?"
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